LexTalk

September has always carried a certain weight for me — it’s my mother’s birthday on the 13th and the anniversary of her passing on the 18th. This year marks five years since she left this world, and yet, in small, tender ways, she never feels far.

On her birthday, my husband and I curled up on the couch with our eldest daughter and put on Tommy Boy. Growing up, this movie was always playing in the background of our home — my mom adored it, and the sound of Chris Farley’s laugh still feels like a portal to my childhood. But this time, something new caught my eye. The boat Tommy was given had a bright number “4” painted across it, and in the opening scene, Tommy’s shirt bore the same number. I had never noticed those details before, but now, after losing my mom at exactly 4:44, I couldn’t ignore it.

The number four has become a lighthouse for me, always flickering into view when I need reminding that love doesn’t disappear. Even our wedding date this year was 4.4.25 — another thread woven into the tapestry of meaning. As the movie went on, I found myself clutching my husband’s hand a little tighter during the scene where Tommy’s dad passes away. His own father just recently passed, and I could feel both of our griefs intertwining with the story on screen. In moments like this, the ordinary becomes sacred.

For Anyone Missing Someone You Love

Grief is such a universal language, even though each of us speaks it differently. When someone you love passes, you begin searching for them in the smallest of places — a bird on the fence, a song on the radio, or even the number 4 on a movie screen. These moments remind us that we are not abandoned. That our loved ones are still finding ways to whisper, I’m here.

So how do you stay open to these signs? How do you keep that channel of connection alive when you yearn for their presence?

Rituals for Remembering

Here are a few gentle practices you can try — easy, simple, and meaningful:

 The Movie-Night Altar

Before you watch a favorite film of your loved one’s, set a tray with a candle, a photo, and a small item with significance (even a scrap of paper with their favorite number). Let the glow of the candle bridge the distance as you laugh or cry through the movie.

 The Four-Minute Remembrance

Take four minutes in silence, lighting a candle for each one. During each minute, bring forward a memory — their laugh, a holiday moment, a lesson they taught you, a time they held you close.

 Four Little Offerings

Leave four flowers at a place that feels sacred — a park bench, a trail, even your windowsill. You might also bake four cookies and share them with family while telling one story about your loved one.

 A Memory Playlist

Gather songs that connect you to them — something they loved, or something you know would make them smile. Play it while you cook, clean, or drive, letting the music keep them near.

 A Letter of Four

Write a letter where you list four things: what you learned from them, what you miss, what you’re grateful for, and what you want them to know today. Tuck it into a journal or fold it into an envelope and keep it safe.

A Tarot/Oracle Spread for Connection

This simple three-card spread can serve as a bridge between you and your loved one:

• Card 1: What they want you to remember — This is the heart of their message to you.
• Card 2: What’s healing for you right now — A step you can take to bring peace to your own spirit.
• Card 3: A loving message for the year ahead — Guidance or reassurance they are sending your way.

You don’t need to be a seasoned reader. Simply notice the imagery, the colors, or the first word that jumps into your mind when you see each card. Trust that what rises up is the message meant for you.

Always Look for the Signs

The truth is, connection doesn’t end when breath does. We are forever stitched together with the people we love, and signs are the threads that tug us back toward them when we need it most. Look for the numbers, the feathers, the songs, the sudden memories that arrive without warning.

If you’re reading this while missing someone deeply, know this: your yearning is proof of the love you carry. And love has a way of reaching across every veil. Keep your eyes, your heart, and your spirit open. The signs are there. Always.

Honoring My Mom

In honor of my mom, I’d love to share a little piece of her with you. If you feel called, you can watch this video and hold her in your heart with me. Whether you knew her or not, taking a moment to witness her spirit is a way of keeping her memory alive.

Watch the video of my mom here.

Thank you for helping me honor her light.

 Have you ever received a sign from a loved one? Share your story in the comments — you never know who you’ll comfort by sharing your light.

If you’d like to watch Tommy Boy or try out some of the candles and journals I use for my own rituals, I’ve added links in the story above. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases. It’s a simple way to support my blog while also adding a little magic to your own home.