LexTalk

This isn’t a post about budgeting perfection.

It’s not a lecture.

It’s not me pretending I’ve had it all together.

This is a story about being human in a world where things cost too much, emergencies happen, and sometimes you look around and realize your finances aren’t where you wanted them to be.

This is a story about me.

And maybe a story about you, too.

 1. The Truth No One Likes to Admit: Debt Doesn’t Happen in a Vacuum

For the longest time, I felt embarrassed to talk about my debt.

Not because I was reckless.

Not because I was out shopping like a Real Housewife, but because life was happening.

• Rent went up.
• Unexpected bills hit.
• Groceries tripled.
• Family needed help.
• My job stretched me thin.

And sometimes, survival required flexibility that my paycheck couldn’t give me.

 “If I’m doing everything I can, why isn’t it enough?”

I asked myself that a lot.

And if you’ve ever been in this place — that knot in your chest, that mix of guilt + frustration + determination — I want you to know something:

You’re not irresponsible.

You’re adapting, and adaptation is not failure.

It’s resilience.

 2. The Scary Step That Changed Everything: Seeing the Whole Picture

For months, I avoided looking at the totals.

I made payments, stayed afloat, went through the motions — but I didn’t want to confront the big number.

I thought seeing it would break me.

Instead? It gave me clarity. Not judgment. Not shame. Just information.

 Here’s what I did:

• I listed every balance
• Every APR
• Every minimum payment

And I didn’t blame myself. I didn’t spiral. I just… looked at it.

Honestly? It was emotional.

Not because I felt irresponsible — but because I felt tired. Tired of trying to stretch, juggle, survive, and smile through all of it. But once everything was out on the table, I could breathe again.

 3. I Learned Which Debts Hurt the Most — And It Wasn’t What I Expected

Looking at the APRs felt like reading a horror novel.

30%? 27%? 29%?

Meanwhile my personal loan was $1,000 a month — a heavy weight, but a lower APR.

That’s when it clicked:

My problem wasn’t discipline — it was interest.

Interest was the vampire.

Interest was what kept me stuck.

 What felt empowering was realizing:

I didn’t have a spending problem. I had a math problem. And math can be worked with.

You can’t out-run a 30% APR — but you CAN out-strategize it

That shift alone removed so much self-blame.

 4. I Stopped Trying to “Willpower” Myself into Change

This was a huge lesson.

I kept telling myself: “I’ll remember.” “I’ll make extra payments.” “I’ll stay on track.”

But willpower is a limited resource — especially when you’re exhausted or overwhelmed. So, I created systems.

Beautiful systems. Systems that didn’t rely on me being a perfect human.

 I made:

A debt tracker. It’s a spreadsheet that updates timelines when I input extra payments. A visual progress bar system. Auto-pay setups to protect my peace.

When systems carry the weight, your emotions don’t have to.

 5. Being Honest About What I Can Actually Do Each Month

Here’s the most relatable thing I can say:

My income changes. My responsibilities change. Some months I can do extra. Some months I can’t.

And that doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m human.

 What helped me:

Building a budget that includes my REAL expenses. Accepting fluctuations instead of fighting them. Knowing that even $25 extra still shortens my timeline. Treating shame like clutter — something to clear, not carry… This approach feels sustainable, kind, adult, and honest.

And that’s why it works.

 6. Side Income Isn’t a Fix — It’s a Boost

One of my biggest shifts was letting go of the idea that side income had to save me.

It doesn’t. It just helps.

My blog, Etsy shop, Amazon links, overtime hours — those aren’t solutions.

They’re power-ups.

Tiny spells that accelerate my progress, not responsibilities I depend on.

This perspective protects your mental health AND your budget.

 7. Sharing My Story Doesn’t Make Me Weak — It Makes Me Free

I used to think debt was something you whispered about. Something you handled privately. Something you tucked away like a secret. But secrets are heavy.

When I started talking about it — really talking about it — the shame dissolved.

The more honest I became with myself, with my husband, and with you, the lighter the whole journey felt.

Talking about debt doesn’t make you irresponsible. It makes you brave.

 Final Word: You’re Not Failing — You’re Fighting

If you’re in a season of financial stress, please hear this:

• You are not irresponsible.
• You are not behind.
• You are not less-than.

You’re navigating a hard world with the tools, energy, and circumstances you have — and you’re doing it while being everything else you already are:

• A partner.
• A parent.
• A worker.
• A dreamer.
• A human with a heart that’s stretched too thin.

And the fact that you’re even trying to make a plan? That makes you powerful. Debt doesn’t define you. But the way you rise from it absolutely can.

And we’re rising together.