LexTalk

What life lesson did you learn too late?

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  If there’s one life lesson I wish I had learned a little sooner, it’s this:

Not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay.

Seriously. That’s it. That’s the lesson.

For so much of my life, I cared way too much about what other people thought of me.

 Would they judge me? Would they think I was weird? Would they laugh at something I enjoyed? Would they have something negative to say?

And because of that, I think I held myself back more than I even realized.

I worried so much about how other people might perceive me that I wasn’t always allowing myself to just… be me.

The authentic me.

The girl who loves what she loves, gets excited about the little things, has a million different interests, and sometimes has a whole lot to say. Haha!

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: You don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea.

You don’t have to pretend to enjoy something just because everyone else does. You don’t have to hide your interests because someone might think they’re strange. You don’t have to make yourself smaller just to make other people comfortable.

And you certainly don’t have to spend your life trying to win over people who have already decided they don’t like you.

One of the biggest examples of this lesson in my own life has been starting my blog, LexTalk.

When I first started writing and sharing pieces of my life, I felt incredibly vulnerable.

I mean, think about it. You’re putting your thoughts, feelings, memories, experiences, and sometimes even your insecurities out there for complete strangers to read.

That’s terrifying!

What if someone I know reads this? What if they judge me? What if they think I’m ridiculous? What if nobody cares?

But then I started asking myself a different question.

What if someone DOES care?

What if someone reads something I’ve written and realizes they’re not alone?

What if someone shares the same weird little interests I do?

What if my experiences, whether they’re funny, heartbreaking, embarrassing, or completely random, resonate with someone else?

And what if, by finally allowing myself to be authentic, I start attracting the people who genuinely appreciate me for who I am?

That’s a pretty beautiful thought.

I’ve spent enough of my life worrying about being accepted. I’m at a point now where I’d rather be genuinely myself and have a smaller circle of people who appreciate that than pretend to be someone I’m not just to fit in.

I’m still learning. I still have moments when I worry about what people think. I don’t think that insecurity magically disappears overnight.

But I’m getting better at reminding myself that other people’s opinions don’t determine my worth.

I can be a little weird. I can be emotional. I can be passionate. I can love spooky things, tarot cards, true crime, traveling, writing, and whatever else makes me happy.

I can share my stories, even the vulnerable ones.

I can be proud of the person I’m becoming.

And if someone doesn’t like it?

Well, that’s okay too.

Because the people who are meant to connect with the real me will never get that opportunity if I keep hiding her.

So, if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this:

Stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. Wear what you want. Love what you love. Speak your mind. Share your stories. Take up space. Be unapologetically yourself.

Life is far too short to spend it trying to be someone else’s version of acceptable.

And maybe I learned that lesson a little later than I would have liked.

But at least I’m learning it now.

Here’s to being authentically, unapologetically YOU. 

Create the magic!

— Lex | LexTalk