LexTalk

How do you stay resilient in hard times?

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  Daily WordPress Prompt: How do you stay resilient in hard times?

I think resilience is something I’ve been learning my entire life.

Growing up, my family didn’t have much money. My parents worked, gambled, and had their own things going on. As a result, I spent a lot of my childhood learning how to fend for myself.

I learned independence at an age when most children are still learning how to navigate the world.

We moved a lot. Money was tight. Stability wasn’t always something I could count on, and I often felt like the black sheep.

But I had two things that helped me escape the realities of my childhood: my imagination and my books.

When the world around me felt uncertain, I could disappear into a story. I could imagine different places, different lives, and different possibilities.

And perhaps without even realizing it, I started imagining a different future for myself.

Learning to Be My Own Strength

When you grow up without much, you learn pretty quickly that life isn’t always fair.

You learn that sometimes, if you want something, you’re going to have to figure out how to get it yourself.

I learned how to take care of myself. I learned how to be resourceful. I learned that hard work mattered.

But perhaps one of the most important lessons I learned was how to love myself, even when I didn’t always feel like I belonged.

Being the black sheep isn’t easy.

There were times when I felt different, misunderstood, or like I didn’t quite fit into the world around me.

Eventually, I realized that being different didn’t mean there was something wrong with me.

It simply meant I had to find my own way.

Having Nothing Made Me Want Everything

And I don’t necessarily mean material things.

Of course, growing up without money made me want financial security. I wanted to be able to buy things without worrying. I wanted to experience places I had only read about or imagined.

But I also wanted something deeper.

I wanted stability.

I wanted love.

I wanted a home that felt like home.

I wanted experiences, memories, adventures, and the freedom to build a life that made me happy.

Having nothing made me want everything.

Not because I was greedy or ungrateful, but because I knew what it felt like to go without.

And I knew I wanted something different for myself.

Resilience Doesn’t Mean Life Doesn’t Hurt

I think people sometimes confuse resilience with being unaffected by difficult situations.

But that’s not what resilience means to me.

I still get overwhelmed. I still cry. I still get frustrated, disappointed, and discouraged.

There are days when life feels incredibly heavy.

But I’ve learned that difficult moments don’t have to define the rest of my story.

I can have a bad day without having a bad life.

I can experience setbacks without giving up on my dreams.

I can be hurt by something and still find the courage to move forward.

And sometimes, resilience is simply waking up the next morning and trying again.

The Little Girl With the Big Imagination

Sometimes I think about that little girl who spent so much time entertaining herself with books and her imagination.

The little girl who moved from place to place.

The little girl who didn’t have much but dreamed of so much more.

I wonder what she would think if she could see my life today.

Would she be proud?

I’d like to think so.

Because even though my life isn’t perfect, I’ve worked hard for the things I have. I’ve built relationships, created memories, traveled to places I once only dreamed about, and continued finding new things to be passionate about.

And I’m still dreaming.

I’m still working.

I’m still trying to create the life I’ve always wanted.

So, How Do I Stay Resilient?

I remind myself of where I came from.

I remind myself of everything I’ve already survived.

I remind myself that I’ve figured things out before, even when I didn’t know how I was going to do it.

And most importantly, I remind myself that I’m worth the effort.

I don’t want my past to make me bitter. I want it to make me grateful, determined, compassionate, and appreciative of the things I once wished for.

I didn’t get to choose every circumstance of my childhood.

But I do get to choose what I do with the lessons it taught me.

Having nothing made me want everything. And learning to love myself made me realize that I deserved to go after it.

And maybe that’s what resilience really is.

Not just surviving the life you were given, but finding the courage to create the life you always imagined.

With love,
Lex

Let’s Talk: Do you think the challenges you experienced growing up made you more resilient as an adult? What’s one lesson from your childhood that still stays with you today?