LexTalk

  Imagine this.

Tomorrow morning, you wake up, grab your phone, and discover that the world has officially lost its mind.

Not because of politics.

Not because a celebrity did something ridiculous.

Not because someone on the internet decided we should all start eating sticks of butter for health reasons.

No.

Aliens have arrived.

Actual aliens. Spaceship. Extraterrestrial beings.

The whole take me to your leader situation.

And somehow — through what I can only assume is a catastrophic failure in government planning — I have been selected to ask them the first question.

Humanity has waited thousands of years for this moment.

Scientists are standing behind me.

Historians are watching.

NASA probably has approximately 47 people screaming into headsets.

The entire world goes silent.

An extraterrestrial being looks directly at me.

I get one question.

One.

This is our chance to unlock one of the greatest mysteries in human history.

I take a deep breath.

And say:

“Okay… but have you guys actually been here this whole time?”

Because I’m sorry. I NEED TO KNOW.

We Have Some Things to Discuss

You can’t just casually land on Earth and expect me not to have questions.

Have you visited before?

How long have you known about us?

Were some of those UFO sightings actually you?

Have you been watching us?

Were you around during ancient civilizations?

Do you know what happened to civilizations that disappeared?

What do you know about the pyramids?

What’s going on at Area 51?

And while we’re here…
What’s with the cows?

Humanity deserves closure.

Unfortunately, I’ve already violated the one-question rule approximately nine times.

This is why I cannot be trusted with first contact.

But If I Really Only Got One Question…

Okay.

Let’s pretend someone takes away my microphone every time I attempt a follow-up.

Rude.

But fair.

If I genuinely had one question to ask an intelligent civilization from somewhere beyond Earth, I think I know what I’d ask.

And surprisingly, it wouldn’t be:
“Where are you from?”

It wouldn’t even be:
“Is there other intelligent life in the universe?”

I mean…
You’re standing here.
That one seems pretty settled.

I’d ask:
“What do you know about us that we don’t know about ourselves?”

And then I’d sit down because I have a feeling the answer might take a while.
Think About It

If extraterrestrial beings were advanced enough to travel across the universe and reach Earth, imagine what they might understand that we don’t.

Maybe they’ve been observing Earth for thousands of years.
Maybe millions.

Maybe they’ve watched civilizations rise and disappear.
Maybe they understand things about consciousness that humans haven’t figured out yet.
Maybe they know whether we’re alone.
Maybe they understand dimensions we can’t perceive.
Maybe they know something about our origins that would completely rewrite history books.
Maybe they understand what happens to consciousness after death.

And yes…
Naturally, my paranormal-loving brain is going there.

Because if aliens just casually proved that one giant mystery of the universe was real, I’m immediately reopening every other mystery folder.

Obviously, We’re Talking About Ghosts

At some point — probably within the first 15 minutes — I’m going to ask the alien:
“Okay, weird question… do you guys have ghosts?”

Because WHAT IF THEY DO?

Imagine that conversation.

“Yes, humans. Consciousness continues after physical death. We’ve known this for approximately 40,000 years.”

Meanwhile I’m standing there thinking:
I KNEW THAT WEIRD NOISE IN THE HALLWAY MEANT SOMETHING.

Or maybe they look at me like I’m completely insane.

“Ghosts? No. That’s ridiculous.”

Sir.

You arrived here in a spaceship.

Let’s not start judging what’s ridiculous.

I Want the Answers Humans Can’t Give Me

That’s what I think would fascinate me most.

Humans have theories about everything.

Where we came from.

Why we’re here.

What happens when we die.

Whether consciousness exists beyond our bodies.

Whether other dimensions exist.

Whether extraterrestrial civilizations have visited Earth before.

We study.

We debate.

We believe.

We doubt.

We tell stories.

But there are some questions humanity simply doesn’t have definitive answers to yet.

If another intelligent species arrived carrying knowledge thousands — or millions — of years beyond ours?

Forget asking them how fast their spaceship goes.

Tell me what you’ve figured out.

And Then I’d Probably Ask Something Completely Ridiculous

Because let’s be realistic.

Eventually the profound conversation would end.

We’d discuss the universe.

Consciousness.

Human history.

Life.

Death.

Space.

Time.

The meaning of existence.

And then there would be an awkward silence.

So naturally, I’d ask:
“Have you tried tacos yet?”

Because if you’re traveling across galaxies and you arrive on Earth without experiencing good local food…
What was even the point?

Actually, this creates another important question.

Do aliens eat?
Do they drink?
Do they have restaurants?
Do they have cocktails?
Do they have their own version of comfort food?
Is there some alien grandmother somewhere making a recipe that’s been passed down for 900 generations?
See?

This is exactly why giving me only one question was never going to work.

Maybe We’d Be the Weird Ones

There’s something else I’d secretly want to know.

What do they think of us?

Imagine observing humanity from the outside.

We send people into space…

and argue with strangers on the internet.

We create incredible art…

and fight over parking spaces.

We compose symphonies…

and somehow need warning labels telling us not to eat certain household products.

We fall in love.
We rescue animals.
We build hospitals.
We explore oceans.
We create technology capable of communicating across the planet.

And sometimes we use that technology to send someone a picture of a cat wearing a tiny cowboy hat.

Honestly?
Maybe that’s our greatest achievement.

Humans are strange.
Beautiful.
Messy.
Brilliant.
Confusing.
Sometimes incredibly kind.
Sometimes incredibly cruel.

I’d love to know what an intelligent species looking at us from the outside actually sees.

So, Aliens… What Do You Know?

If aliens arrived tomorrow and I truly only had one question, this would be it:

What do you know about us that we don’t know about ourselves?

Tell me about our history.

Tell me what we’ve misunderstood.

Tell me what’s beyond the tiny corner of the universe we’ve managed to explore.

Tell me whether consciousness is bigger than we think.

Tell me whether you’ve been here before.

Tell me what humanity hasn’t figured out yet.

And then…

please ignore whoever established the one-question rule.

Because I have approximately 746 follow-ups.

We can make coffee.

I’ll order tacos.

You can tell me the secrets of the universe.

And eventually…

we’re going to talk about the ghosts.