LexTalk

  What’s the most underrated life skill?

I could probably give you a dozen answers.

Knowing how to cook something besides frozen pizza.

Managing your money.

Communicating.

Changing a tire.

Knowing how to politely escape a conversation that should’ve ended 20 minutes ago.

 
All useful.

But the older I get, the more I believe one of the most underrated life skills is something nobody really teaches us:

Knowing when to walk away.

Not running away the second something becomes difficult.

Not quitting because you’re uncomfortable.

Not abandoning something meaningful because you’re afraid you’ll fail.

I’m talking about learning to recognize when fighting harder is no longer making you stronger.

Sometimes it’s just making you tired.

And there is a difference.

We’re Taught Not to Quit

“Don’t give up.”

“Keep going.”

“Fight for what you want.”

“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

We’ve heard some version of those messages our entire lives.

And honestly?

I believe them.

I’m stubborn.

 
When I want something, I have a hard time letting it go.

I believe in trying again.

I believe in starting over.

I believe in posting the thing nobody saw, creating another one, and trying again tomorrow.

I believe in dreams that take longer than expected.

I believe in relationships requiring effort.

I believe in working through hard seasons.

I believe in not giving up on yourself.

But there’s something I had to learn:

Not giving up on yourself and refusing to let go of something are not always the same thing.

Sometimes they’re opposites.

Sometimes Staying Isn’t Strength

This was a hard lesson for me.

I’ve stayed in situations longer than I should have because leaving felt like failure.

I’ve held onto things because of the time I’d already invested.

I’ve thought:

But I’ve already put so much into this.

Years.

Energy.

Love.

Hope.

Work.

How do you just walk away from all of that?

But eventually I realized something.

The time you’ve already spent somewhere isn’t a reason to spend even more time there.

You don’t get those years back by adding another year.

You don’t make an unhealthy situation healthy simply because you’ve survived it for a long time.

And you don’t have to keep hurting yourself just to prove you’re capable of enduring pain.

Sometimes staying is brave.

But sometimes?

Leaving is.

I’ve Literally Had to Learn How to Walk Away

Recently, I wrote about one of the biggest turning points of my life.

After spending about seven years in an abusive relationship, I eventually reached a point where something inside me said:

Enough.

I packed my car.

I left Texas.

And I drove approximately 21 hours straight back to Florida.

For a long time before that drive, leaving felt terrifying.

There was history there.

Seven years doesn’t disappear because you’ve decided something isn’t good for you anymore.

But eventually, the fear of staying became bigger than the fear of leaving.

That drive taught me something I’ve carried with me ever since:

Walking away doesn’t always mean you lost.

Sometimes it means you finally chose yourself.

And It Isn’t Just About Relationships

That’s the thing.

Knowing when to walk away applies to so much more than romantic relationships.

Sometimes it’s a friendship.

You realize you’re always the one reaching out.

Always checking in.

Always forgiving.

Always making excuses for someone who wouldn’t make the same effort for you.

Sometimes it’s a job.

You dread Sunday night because Monday morning is coming.

You’re exhausted before the day even starts.

Maybe you’ve learned everything that place had to teach you.

Sometimes it’s a dream.

And I know that sounds strange coming from someone who constantly says to keep going.

But dreams can change.

You are allowed to change your mind.

You’re allowed to realize the thing 25-year-old you desperately wanted isn’t what 35-year-old you wants anymore.

Changing direction doesn’t erase the work you already did.

Sometimes that work is exactly what helped you figure out where you actually belong.

So… When Do You Keep Going?

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

Because I don’t want to become someone who walks away every time life gets uncomfortable.

Some of the things I’m proudest of required me to keep showing up when absolutely nothing exciting was happening.

I’ve had ideas that didn’t work.

Content nobody watched.

Things that didn’t sell.

Moments when I’ve wondered whether I’m wasting my time.

But I keep creating.

Why?

Because underneath the frustration, I still feel like myself while I’m doing it.

That’s become an important distinction for me.

Something can be difficult without destroying you.

Something can challenge you without making you smaller.

Something can take forever without making you miserable.

Hard doesn’t automatically mean wrong.

But neither does history automatically mean right.

Ask Yourself a Different Question

Instead of always asking:

“Should I give up?”

Maybe ask:

“What is staying here costing me?”

My peace?

My confidence?

My happiness?

My ability to recognize myself?

My future?

Or is staying simply costing me patience, effort, and perseverance because I’m building something that genuinely matters to me?

Those are very different costs.

And only you can really know the difference.

Walking Away Doesn’t Have to Be Angry

This is another thing I’m still learning.

We tend to picture walking away as some giant dramatic event.

Doors slamming.

Bridges burning.

A dramatic speech where everyone suddenly realizes you were right all along.

Very cinematic.

But sometimes walking away is quiet.

You stop explaining yourself.

You stop chasing.

You stop trying to force something to fit.

You accept that something mattered…

and also accept that it doesn’t belong in your next chapter.

There doesn’t always need to be a villain.

Sometimes something simply isn’t right for you anymore.

And that’s enough.

The Skill Is Knowing the Difference

I still believe in perseverance.

Probably more than ever.

I believe in fighting for things you love.

I believe in second chances.

I believe in working through uncomfortable seasons instead of immediately running from them.

I believe in getting back up.

Trying again.

Believing in yourself when nobody is clapping yet.

But I also believe there comes a moment when strength changes shape.

Sometimes strength says:

Keep going.

And sometimes strength whispers:

You’ve done enough. You can go now.

Learning which voice you’re hearing?
That’s the skill.

Maybe Walking Away Isn’t Giving Up

Maybe sometimes walking away is making room.

For something healthier.
Something happier.
Something that fits who you’ve become.

Maybe you’re not abandoning your life.
Maybe you’re clearing space for it.

I once thought leaving meant I had failed.

Now I understand that some of the best things in my life only had room to find me because I finally let go of something else.

So yes…

Keep going.

Fight for your dreams.

Try again.

Give people grace.

Work through the hard parts.

Believe in yourself when the results aren’t there yet.

But don’t confuse endurance with obligation.

You are allowed to outgrow things.

You are allowed to change direction.

You are allowed to decide you’ve had enough.

And sometimes the bravest way to refuse to give up on yourself…
is finally giving yourself permission to walk away.